May 2013
grinshaws:
[looks you in the eyes, pats your knee sympathetically] i don’t care
sunshineface0014:
assbutt-in-the-garrison:
I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem
You can’t even see your problem
rocketpowers:
there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone
just let that sink in
unclefather:
i used a love calculator on the internet and it says we’re not compatible….. i think we should break up…..
natured:
I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
piidove:
if youre younger but taller than me im arresting you
stealinyoman:
marry a guy who has sisters because he’s seen the female in her natural state therefore won’t have any unrealistic expectations of you
dietchola:
do twin boys have the same penis size?
buck-barnes:
i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”
