grinshaws: [looks you in the eyes, pats your knee sympathetically] i don’t care
sunshineface0014: assbutt-in-the-garrison: I need my glasses to find my glasses do you see my problem You can’t even see your problem
rocketpowers: there are teenagers who have unprotected sex but have a case for their iphone just let that sink in
unclefather: i used a love calculator on the internet and it says we’re not compatible….. i think we should break up…..
natured: I was standing in line at dairy queen and I saw an elderly lady crying because she didn’t have enough money to pay for her small blizzard, so I bought her a large and helped her out to her car, and she cried and said ” I hope god made someone just for you out in the world so that they can treat you as special as you are” and I am sobbing right now.
piidove: if youre younger but taller than me im arresting you
stealinyoman: marry a guy who has sisters because he’s seen the female in her natural state therefore won’t have any unrealistic expectations of you
dietchola: do twin boys have the same penis size?
buck-barnes: i wish there was a non-assholeish way to say “our friendship has run its course, you make me uncomfortable with your feelings and a lot of shit you do pisses me off bye”